Hitting your 20s. Loss and gain. 

During High school years it’s easy to maintain relationships. Somehow being “forced” to see your fellow peers because of the educational system we all grow up with, allows for constant interaction and communication. Which is… great!

The act of engaging with friends and loved ones during your teen years comes spontaneously, since at that stage, we all had the same daily routine and habit of attending school.

But the moment this “system” vanishes, these relationships are hanging without the support of a system which used to maintain the frequency of our interaction with one another. Lately I have thought a lot about why friends too, disappear when this change in life occurs. There are a lot of obvious reasons, and even though you may experience the thought of losing so called friends sad, you might actually realize that it’s one of the best changes one can go through in your life.

Losing “friends” is a way for nature to show you, “Hey, you don’t need this person!”. It’s an act which places emphasis on those who love and care about you most. It unveils the honest, and applauds those who deserve your friendship. It’s separates the good quality fruits from the bruised ones. Like natural selection, but only involving your circle of friends. Keeping those who will fight for you.

When you get older, you realize that life is short, and that whatever treasures you fill it with, is meant to be with worthy people. People allowing you to grow. People WANTING you to grow. People who have your interests at heart. Suddenly time is to be harvested in order to see certain people. And there’s moments when life suppresses you and you find yourself 4 weeks passed the last time you saw one of your true friends. But that’s life. What is of great significance, is knowing that that bond will remain even when visits are less and communication is poor.

Your life long mates are usually exposed when you find yourself within the crowd. How does that person talk about you? How does that person make you feel when amongst others? How does that person handle conflict or disagreements? DOES THAT PERSON TELL YOU HOW MUCH THEY APPRECIATE YOU? 

Maybe accepting and embracing the act of “losing friends” should be seen as “gaining realness”, “excluding negativity”, “finding communal hearts colliding together”.

Finding the passion in your friendships. Take time to truly see who will ride with you. This only avoids disappointment and hurt within your future. Notice who always want to know how you are. Also be curious of how others treat your being, even when you are not present. See this as a shift in paradigm. A new way of cherishing those you love, and appreciating the effort that lives amongst two souls. See friendship as a world wonder.

Cause it’s not something that comes across your life multiple times.

The quote goes… “Invest in people, who invest in you!”

I am utterly grateful for those who I solemnly know have my back. Those who reciprocate my honesty and realness. Less is more. As long as they’re true. And I can confidently say that I am in a state of bliss knowing that the people I chose to have in my life, are the ones I can unwastefully give my love to.

Shoot done with a soul friend. Somebody I will go and buy Aloe water for at 3am… (Not that there’s any shops open that time of the night). But you get the picture.

Photos taken by the talented and energetic Claudia Hamman

Check out

Instagram: @claudiahphotography


7 thoughts on “Hitting your 20s. Loss and gain. 

  1. There are friends that you go long amounts of time without talking to too. There are friends that even though you don’t interact with them often, you know that they’re there for you. Years can go by without speaking to them, but you know that they still regard you as a brother/sister. These friends are the best ones, to me at least.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Definitely. I agree! I also feel that those people will automatically be revealed to you. Those friendships don’t need any reassurance. But also, there are people you sometimes invest a lot of time in. Trust, honesty, care. Only to find that when effort is not made from your side. The friendship dies away. At the end those who need to be in your life will automatically stay. Even when life shifts between different worlds.


      1. I can personally say that the friend’s who are willing to invest the time into you even after you move world’s apart, are the one’s who will be in your life forever. ❤


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